Resources for educating kids about equity and justice

It's incumbent on us all to educate ourselves, talk with our friends and family, and most importantly, build empathy and motivation for change among the next generation. 

For anyone looking to better understand racial injustice and find resources for how to talk to children about these issues, I would point you to a resource developed by our local school district's Equity Initiatives Unit.  It's really well organized and easy to find what you need. With a cover note and link from them:

"Please see An Educators Guide to This Moment: Resources for Educators, Parents, and Students, developed by the MCPS Equity Initiatives Unit to help students, staff, teachers, and families process this difficult moment in our country. It is a public resource and we encourage you to share it within your school communities and beyond. It's extraordinarily well done."  

I couldn't agree more. 

peace, 

Ingrid

New Zealand

My heart goes out to the families of the 49 people brutally massacred in two New Zealand mosques yesterday.  And to the greater Muslim community everywhere, who must be sharing this pain very deeply. And to the people of New Zealand, who surely feel the way we do when this horror strikes in the U.S. on an all too frequent basis--sad, afraid, and ashamed.

In spite of all my listening, I still cannot understand is why radicals on the hard fringes of any spectrum of belief feel they need to kill innocent people to make their point. I guess if someone is hurting and alone and desperate for meaning in life and power over something, anything, then maybe spreading pain and hate is a way to process that. I try really hard to understand the perspectives of others because I think it's a prerequisite for addressing our differences, and maybe I can imagine the individual motivations of a sick person, but I struggle to wrap my head around how mass-murder is supposed to further anyone's cause.  It enrages radicals on the other side. And then how will the cycle of violence ever end?

Probably only in the long term through all of us who care about these issues promoting understanding, respect, inclusion, justice, human dignity, and love.  Wherever and whenever we can.  As loudly and calmly and bravely as we can.

And because no one person can understand what it's like to be all the other people, that means we'll need to be ok with doing this in our own sometimes awkward, but hopefully always sincere, kind of way.  And keep listening and learning, and get better at it, and make mistakes and then try again. And know that it will be a life-long journey.

One that I personally am committed to.

peace,
Ingrid

High Resolves & Mehrdad Baghai Win the 2018 McNulty Prize

I just came across this information about a program that seeks to educate young people about injustice, promote a more empathetic viewpoint, and to create a generation that is "inoculated against hate." Good stuff!

Using the right words

For those of us striving to be more thoughtful in our written and interpersonal communications, it seems like more and more sensitivities and rules of communication are revealed every day. For those of us lucky enough to be born with privilege, choosing words with care sometimes simply doesn't occur to us. Not because of ugly intent, just because we haven't had those experiences ourselves.  Feeling overwhelmed?  Fear not, I came across this handy dandy guide some time ago.  It seems pretty comprehensive, not something to memorize in a day, but hopefully a good resource to you:

https://www.diversitystyleguide.com/

Have a great day,
Ingrid

Kudos to National Geographic as it ackowledges its racist past

This is a movingly honest post from Nat Geo that I'm really appreciating right now:  https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2018/04/from-the-editor-race-racism-history/

I agree that in order to make progress we must acknowledge our past, be honest about our mistakes, and be clear about our new outlook going forward. Here's a fine quote from the article "It’s hard for an individual—or a country—to evolve past discomfort if the source of the anxiety is only discussed in hushed tones.”

I'm hopeful that some of the ugliness in our nation's heart that is being revealed by the rise of Trump can become an opportunity to look that hate in the eyes, see it clearly for the prejudice that it is (not in hushed tones), and work diligently as a society, together, to address it.  That kind of long term outcome from the pain we feel right now would make me so proud.

my best,
Ingrid

Charlottesville

Like so many of you, I have been saddened, incredulous, disappointed, and afraid for the heart and soul of our nation in recent days.  Charlottesville had a beautiful peaceful candlelight vigil tonight that moved me (and Anderson Cooper) to tears.  It was healing and helped me remember that the vast majority of Americans are as horrified as I am and many are feeling renewed in our dedication to advancing justice and equity.

I also believe that most of us are trying our best to frantically find and rip out the prejudices we harbor as we see them arise in our hearts in the course of daily life.  I know that these prejudices have been taught to us from an early age by a society around that is still fundamentally unjust.  In many ways, these weeds in the garden are not our fault.  They were planted by others. But we are not victims, especially those of us who are blessed with privilege. In fact, we have a great responsibility to be self-aware, improve our perspectives and postures toward others, and strive to advance justice every day.

I am going to try to set aside these feelings of panic, fear, and sadness and instead feel motivated to do better as a person, inspire the youngsters around me to cherish our diversity and strive for justice, and advance the cause of freedom and equity whenever I can.

peace,
Ingrid

Mandela's birthday

On Nelson Mandela's birthday, I'd like to share a quote that is circulating around the web and that I find inspiring:

“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”  -   Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom

thanks, Ingrid

Hurray for Admiral Michelle Howard!

I am so proud of the promotion of Vice Admiral Michelle Howard as both the first female and first African-American four-star Admiral last week.  Way to smash through those barriers, Admiral Howard!

Here is a wonderful quote from Navy Secretary Ray Mabus on her promotion, which I give credit to the Washington Post for providing:

“She is also a great example of how much we as a nation and a Navy lose if we put artificial barriers in,” Mabus told a crowd of about 150 people. “If we don’t judge people based on their ability, based on their capability. I hope I have always been passionate about that, but I know the intensity has increased since I am the father of three daughters, and I refuse to believe that there are any ceilings for them, glass or otherwise. That they can get to wherever their abilities can take them. And with that, they and countless others in the Navy now have a wonderful role model in Michelle Howard.”

With that said, Mabus added that “there is no news here today,” because the Navy picked the best officer, Howard, for her new job.

The full Washington Post article can be found here:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/checkpoint/wp/2014/07/01/adm-michelle-howard-becomes-first-four-star-woman-in-navy-history/

thanks,
Ingrid Irigoyen

Happy St. Patrick's Day

As we celebrate all things Irish-American today, let us reflect on the fact that not so long ago a wave of Irish immigrants were treated with suspicion and disregard by existing residents of this land, even though all of us had come over on some boat or another not too long prior. And yet today it is difficult to imagine anyone in mainstream America expressing prejudice toward an Irish-American because of their heritage or religious affiliation. In fact, many of us without a drop of Irish in our blood celebrate this day with genuine enthusiasm.

We are indeed an adaptable species with a great ability to accept our differences and cherish our diversity, when we set our minds to it. I hope we use today as an opportunity to reflect on the struggles of a new generation of immigrants, the vast majority of whom are good, honest, hard-working families who seek the same freedom and opportunity that many of our forefathers were chasing in their journeys across a vast ocean. While my faith in this Congress to work together and find common ground on the great issues of our day continues to be very low, I hold out hope that it will pass immigration reform before too long that provides justice and peace, acceptance and opportunity for all the otherwise law-abiding, hard-working people who are living in the shadows for no good reason, other than an out-of-date set of public policies. Bringing them into the light would be good for all of us.

I raise my Irish ale in a toast to all who are working on immigration reform for this generation of newcomers. May your efforts be successful.

Ingrid

Appreciating Black History Month

February is Black History Month and this has me thinking.  In our effort to form a more perfect union, we should strive to understand history through a wide range of experiences that reflect the great diversity of our nation...all the time, not just during one certain month. Ideally, we would not need special times to turn our collective attention to the ways one group or another has lived the American experience. Instead, we would always be sensitive and thoughtful in the way we tell our national story. We would understand and be able to explain a range of perspectives and describe important contributions to our history from people of all races, regardless of our own race, just as a matter of course.  

Unfortunately, we are not there yet. We still need these special, designated times to recognize the important (and not always universally appreciated) contributions that certain groups have made to our history.

In the meantime, I'm proud that our nation celebrates this occasion and hope that everyone takes a moment to reflect on what it means to us as individuals and as a nation, regardless of what we look like on the outside.

thanks, Ingrid

Hope and Equality: Themes of the Presidential Inauguration

Hello friends,
I don't know about you, but the parts of the President's inauguration speech where he focused on equality and hope really moved me. I also loved the poem by Richard Blanco that followed. Here is a link to a very good article by the Center for American Progress' Sally Steenland on the common themes between the speech and the poem.  I hope you enjoy it:

http://www.americanprogress.org/issues/religion/news/2013/01/23/50279/faith-in-values-the-president-and-the-poet/

Thanks and happy new year,
Ingrid Irigoyen

A little inspiration from history

Here are a few words from a great lady to remind us that everyday little acts of tolerance and kindness and respect add up and really matter...and for many of us are the most important change we can make in the world.  

peace, 

Ingrid

Roosevelt on Human Rights in the Small Places

Where, after all, do universal rights begin? In small places, close to home—so close and so small that they cannot be seen on any maps of the world. Yet they are the world of the individual person; the neighborhood he lives in; the school or college he attends; the factory, farm or office where he works. Such are the places where every man, woman, and child seeks equal justice, equal opportunity, equal dignity without discrimination. Unless these rights have meaning there, they have little meaning anywhere. Without concerned citizen action to uphold them close to home, we shall look in vain for progress in the larger world.

–Eleanor Roosevelt, “The Great Question,” remarks delivered at the United Nations in New York on March 27, 1958.

SPLC report and an article in Parenting

Hi folks,
Happy spring. Here is a resource from the Southern Poverty Law Center's website tolerance.org that I believe offers a number of helpful pointers to parents.  I especially appreciate the focus on the Golden Rule, which transcends religion and politics and should, in its beautiful simplicity, be a universal guidepost for humanity.  If we only treated each other the way we ourselves want to be treated, just imagine the world we would live in.  Anyway, here is a link to the report Beyond the Golden Rule: A Parent’s Guide to Preventing and Responding to Prejudice

http://www.tolerance.org/publication/beyond-golden-rule/beyond-golden-rule

Also, I just discovered in the May issue of the magazine Parenting a good article about teaching children to be tolerant and open minded in an increasingly multicultural world.  A link here:
Culture Blind - Parenting.com

thanks,
Ingrid

A flurry of resources about raising tolerant children

Here is a link to an article posted by Dr. Alex Barzvi, a child psychologist, that passes along some practical advice on why and how to talk to kids about race from early age in a way that will foster tolerance.  The article was written by Charlton McIlwain, a professor at NYU:    http://www.drbarzvi.com/2010/05/15/the-truth-about-race-how-to-talk-about-it-with-your-children/

I also found this document entitled "How to Be an Anti-Racist Parent: Real-Life Parents Share Real-Life Tips " that provides a ton of good information.  http://curlykidz.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/how_to_be_an_anti-racist_parent.pdf

And here is a blog that is devoted to the topic, which I haven't had a chance to study in great detail yet, but plan to spend some time with in the coming days:  http://loveisntenough.com/  And an article posted on that blog that I consider very good: http://loveisntenough.com/2011/07/20/white-noise-white-adults-raising-white-children-to-resist-white-supremacy-2/

And here a thought-provoking article by Allison Briscoe-Smith, a professor and psychologist at Berkeley:  http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/rubbing_off/

thanks, Ingrid

Hi folks,
I just found this blog that looks like a great resource. The author seems so thoughtful, but unfortunately her last post was in August of 2011, so I'm not sure how much she is still writing.  But the last post is really interesting and articulates eloquently a lot of what I struggle with internally myself. Also, she has some good links and resources down the right side of the page.  http://whiteantiracistparent.blogspot.com/

my best, Ingrid Irigoyen

Difficult times

I has been difficult to read the news lately.  There are so many distressing headlines about prejudice leading to violence against innocent people around our nation and the world. We should all feel sad and ashamed of our fellow humans for behaving this way. Following my policy of only posting positive stories, I am not going to rehash the details or say anything more on these topics. You can find the specific stories on your own in the press. However, I am noting this flurry of media attention because I want to encourage reflection about the fact that spreading love and peace and tolerance continues to be so very important, for the health of our own souls and the shared spirit of our imperfect species.

Wishing all of you peace in your own lives.

Ingrid Irigoyen

Raising Tolerant Kids

Here's an article  about one of my favorite topics, raising tolerant kids, that was recently posted on everythingmom.com  

thanks, Ingrid

http://www.everythingmom.com/behaviour/raising-tolerant-kids.html 

Raising Tolerant Kids

One of the most important lessons we can teach our kids is how special they are. We tell them they are unique, different from anyone else in the world. The difference is what makes them special. And we teach them it’s who a person is inside that matters.

As they get older and start spending more time with friends, they may try to emulate them or change for them. We step in. We encourage our children to be individuals, and we hope they don’t lose themselves. We tell them that they need to think for themselves, they need to stand apart. That it’s okay to be different. But do we really mean it? Do we celebrate difference?

Parents and Tolerance

Let’s show our kids that we celebrate difference even when we talk about other people. Let’s teach them that being different from the person standing next to you is a fact of life…we are all different. Yet it’s the person inside who matters.

Why not model tolerance for our children? Encourage them to befriend someone who looks different than they do. Show them that, the world over, people have different ways of eating, dressing, celebrating holidays, practicing a faith or not. Teach them that you can tell if people are a family more by how much they love and take care of each other, than you can by checking marriage certificates, looking for mommies and daddies to pair up or checking to see if siblings are related by blood.

Let’s teach them that there are lots of choices out there, and this is what we have chosen to do or believe. When a child asks why another child is in a wheelchair or acts differently than they expect, instead of saying “shhh, don’t talk about that child!” and hustling them away, let’s say “I’m not sure. Maybe if you two end up being friends, someday you’ll find out. Hey, I wonder if he likes Transformers, too?”

The reality is that bringing up our kids to respect differences opens them up to a better, fuller life simply because of the people they might meet. Showing them how to keep their minds and hearts open will allow them to do more, have more, be more. And isn’t that what we want for them?

Society and Tolerance

The responsibility does not end with parents. As a society, we need to show our kids, through all forms of media, that the world is filled with differences so those differences become the normal.

When I see a hit tv show like Glee depict a teenage boy in a wheelchair, and not just focus on the chair, but what he feels, his strengths and how he gets, loses, then gets the girl we see a person, not a wheelchair. He is more like the others than different.

When we watch TV shows and movies where same sex couples are shown as having committed, loving relationships and creating families of their own we see the love and attachment that makes a real family, no matter the gender of the parents. This acceptance goes for adoption as well…be it domestic or international adoption, whether the child and parents resemble one another or not, it doesn’t matter. When babies are placed in the arms of the people who will love them and raise them, no matter how they got there, they are a family.

When books and television teach children about other parts of the world, it gives me hope that we are building understanding from a very young age. Children who are raised to be politely curious and accepting of others will be more likely to reach out their hands later in life instead of closing their minds.

When I see Oprah running auditions to find the best idea and host for a new show, and I see that one young man has received almost 3.5 million votes to win, it makes my heart expand in a way I can barely describe. Why? He has a great smile, great charisma and a great idea. He also has cerebral palsy. But almost 3.5 million people want to hear what he has to say, and I think that’s amazing.

Why Tolerance?

In the end, we are so much more the same than we are different. We all have hearts that need love and connection to feel full. We have minds that want to grow and learn and experience the world. And we all want to feel good about ourselves as we walk this path we call life…no matter our age, gender, orientation, religion, ability or race. The world we shape today will be the world our children live in tomorrow, and if they are raised to reach out to one another, what a world it will be.

Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.

My family visited the Martin Luther King, Jr. memorial in Washington, DC over the weekend.  I was really very moved being there, and despite some negative criticism it has received, I like the statue.  He looks determined, but with gentle and kind eyes.

There are so many inspiring and moving quotes at the memorial I have been trying to pick my favorite ones, but I think they are all worth posting here (I am not including the drum major quote that they are going to redo--I think someone made a dumb decision on that selection).    

thanks, Ingrid Irigoyen

"We shall overcome because the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice." (16 August 1967, Atlanta, GA)

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that." (1963, Strength to Love)

"I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant." (10 December 1964, Oslo, Norway)

"Make a career of humanity. Commit yourself to the noble struggle for equal rights. You will make a greater person of yourself, a greater nation of your country, and a finer world to live in." (18 April 1959, Washington, DC)

"I oppose the war in Vietnam because I love America. I speak out against it not in anger but with anxiety and sorrow in my heart, and above all with a passionate desire to see our beloved country stand as a moral example of the world." (25 February 1967, Los Angeles, CA)

"If we are to have peace on earth, our loyalties must become ecumenical rather than sectional. Our loyalties must transcend our race, our tribe, our class, and our nation; and this means we must develop a world perspective." (24 December 1967, Atlanta, GA)

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly." (16 April 1963, Birmingham, AL)

"I have the audacity to believe that peoples everywhere can have three meals a day for their bodies, education and culture for their minds, and dignity, equality and freedom for their spirits." (10 December 1964, Oslo, Norway)

"It is not enough to say "We must not wage war." It is necessary to love peace and sacrifice for it. We must concentrate not merely on the negative expulsion of war, but on the positive affirmation of peace." (24 December 1967, Atlanta, GA)

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." (25 February 1967, Los Angeles, CA)

"Every nation must now develop an overriding loyalty to mankind as a whole in order to preserve the best in their individual societies." (4 April 1967, Riverside Church, New York, NY)

"We are determined here in Montgomery to work and fight until justice runs "down like water, and righteousness like a mighty stream." (5 December 1955, Montgomery, AL)

"We must come to see that the end we seek is a society at peace with itself, a society that can live with its conscience." (16 April 1963, Birmingham, AL)

"True peace is not merely the absence of tension: it is the presence of justice." (16 April 1963, Birmingham, AL)

Test yourself for hidden bias

http://www.tolerance.org/hiddenbias
https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/